It's not every day Online Canarias wakes up and finds a new employee in the office, but when they do it's a good excuse for a meal out on the town.

Though named after a purple dinosaur, Barney (the latest addition to the Online Canarias food-blagging squadron) is in fact a six foot two ex squaddie. And a vegetarian.

Realising that Conejo al Salmorejo (that's stewed bunny to you) was out the question, we strolled the cafe-cluttered streets of Los Cristianos in search of a more humane feed. Little Italy, with it's invitingly dark interior and cheerful street seating, seemed just the place.

Barney fancies himself a linguist, and confused our waiters with a rapid-fire mix of German, Italian and very bad Spanish, before finally realising they wouldn't bring the wine, olives and garlic bread we craved unless he switched to English.

The Faustino VII was excellent, the olives delicious and the garlic bread smelly enough to keep a morgue full of vampires away.

Perhaps it was the wine, or perhaps the conversation, but when it came time to order the main course Barney forgot all his vegetarian ways and ordered up a fiery plate of Indiana Prawns. I had a more traditional Marinara pizza, which was excellent.

A second bottle of wine appeared from nowhere. And by the time the bill arrived the pain of paying 12,000 pesetas for dinner with a maniac was considerably lessened.

Not cheap, but good.

Reviewed by Matt Kynaston. Barney Hanlon is not a mythical character. He's Online Canarias's resident vodka tester.